Let Me Be A Woman

Yet the jelly fish and the tiger "know" what they were made for. They, with all sea monsters and all deeps, fire and hail, snow and frost, mountains and hills, beasts and all cattle, praise the Lord. By being a jelly fish the jelly fish glorifies its Creator, for by being a jelly fish it fulfills its Creator's command.

...

What sort of world might it be if Eve had refused the Serpent's offer and had said to him instead, "Let me not be like God. Let me be what I was made to be -- let me be a woman"?
But the sin was fatal beyond their worst imaginations, It was hubris, a lifting up of the soul in defiance of God, the pride that usurps another's place. It is a damnable kind of pride.


- Let Me Be A Woman by Elisabeth Elliot

I Have A Miserable Confession

I don't live for God.

I live with Him. And like a best friend, I have become well acquainted with the way he talks, the way he acts, and I have adopted some of these as my own. He does things for me, and I do things for Him back. We like each other and enjoy our relationship. People might even call us inseparable. That's great. But I do not live as His servant. I do not act as one who is a slave to His righteousness. I seek to glorify Him in all I do, but my chief purpose is not His glory.

It's a miserable place to find myself. Horribly embarrassing, to realize I've committed a spiritual faux pas and treated the King of Kings like a good old buddy and not much else. It reminds me of what my mom said to me once in an argument. She said she's not my friend, that she's my mother, and I must respect her as such. It doesn't mean she doesn't love to enjoy friendship with me, but the reality of our relationship is one where she holds great authority and deserves respect from me. In similar ways, God is comforting, He is our friend, He is Abba Father who deals with us gently despite our immaturity and wandering hearts. But don't you get it wrong, He is God. He is creator of the universe, the very definition of holiness, and we would drop dead in our pathetic human sinfulness if we were to gaze upon the fullness of His glory.

Abba Father, forgive me of my brazen foolishness. For forgetting my place, and disregarding the wonder and glory of my salvation by your hand. May I not grow comfortable with your goodness, but always remember and meditate upon your astounding nature as God: holy, magnificent, and deserving of all praise and worship. There is nothing else, Lord. No career, no relationship, no joy in this life could compare to the goodness you have given us on the cross, though we praise you and glorify you for giving us these temporary joys. But above all else let us not be satisfied in any earthly blessings, but wait in eagerness for the fullness of your promises. Remind me of
the impossibility of what you have done. Incline my heart to your glory, and your glory alone. Let me die to myself and offer up this tiny life in complete and utter servitude to you, Father, Savior, Redeemer, Creator, King of Kings, Comforter. In Jesus' name.

My salvation comes from Him

Teach me, O Lord, the ways of your statues; and I will keep it to the end.
Give me understanding, that I may keep your law
and observe it with my whole heart.
Lead me in the path of your commandments,
for I delight in it.
Incline my heart to your testimonies,
and not to selfish gain!
Turn my eyes from looking at worthless things;
and give me life in your ways.
Confirm to your servant your promise,
that you may be feared.
Turn away the reproach that I dread,
for your rules are good.
Behold, I long for your precepts;
in your righteousness give me life!
- Psalm 119:33-40

A few years ago, being uncertain about theology, I wondered just what I was allowed to pray. Could I pray for others' salvation, was that something He could do according to his nature? Could I pray for the redemption of a nation? Could I ask Him to transform me in the specific ways that I desire? And slowly I found beautiful answers to these questions in the prayers of the bible, in the requests of those individuals who knew God's character intimately. That I can pray such directives to the God Almighty amazes me, that it pleases Him for me to ask for Him to work. That in the promise of these prayers, I know that He can and will do it. If I ask, He will teach, He will give understanding, H
e will lead and incline my heart. Such attention to the desperate demands of this little life. What an awesome God.

Freewill vs. Holy Spirit

Where one sees contradiction, I see beautiful truth. 

Moses said to all the congregation of the people of Israel, "This is the thing that the Lord has commanded. Take from among you a contribution to the Lord. Whoever is of a generous heart, let him bring the Lord's contribution: gold, silver, bronze; blue and purple and scarlet... (Exodus 35:4-6)

Let every skilled craftsman among you come and make all that the Lord has commanded: the tabernacle, its tent and its coverings, its hooks and its frames, its bars, its pillars, and its bases... (Exodus 35:10-11)

Then all the congregation of the people of Israel departed from the presence of Moses. And they came, everyone whose heart stirred him, and everyone whose spirit moved him, and brought the Lord's contribution to be used for the tent of meeting, and for all its service, and for the holy garments. So they came, both men and women. All who were of a willing heart brought brooches and earrings and signet rings and armlets, all sorts of gold objects, every man dedicating an offering of gold to the Lord. And every one who possessed blue or purple or scarlet yarns or fine linen or goats' hair or tanned rams' skins or goatskins brought them. Everyone who could make a contribution of silver or bronze brought it as the Lord's contribution. And every one who possessed acacia wood of any use in the work brought it. And every skilled woman spun with her hands, and they all brought what they had spun in blue and purple and scarlet yarns and fine twined linen. All the women whose hearts stirred them to use their skill spun the goats' hair. And the leaders brought onyx stones and stones to be set, for the ephod and for the breastpiece, and spices and oil for the light, and for the anointing oil, and for the fragrant incense. All the men and women, the people of Israel, whose heart moved them to bring anything for the work that the Lord had commanded by Moses to be done brought it as a freewill offering to the Lord. (Exodus 35:20-29)

The heart is deceitful above all things, and desperately sick; who can understand it? (Jeremiah 17:9)

And Moses called Bezalel and Oholiab and every craftsman in whose mind the Lord had put skill, everyone whose heart stirred him up to come to do the work. And they received from Moses all the contribution that the people of Israel had brought for doing the work on the sanctuary. They still kept bringing him freewill offerings every morning, so that all the craftsmen who were doing every sort of task on the sanctuary came, each from the task that he was doing, and said to Moses, "The people bring much more than enough for doing the work that the Lord has commanded us to do." So Moses gave command, and word was proclaimed throughout the camp, "Let no man or woman do anything more for the contribution for the sanctuary." So the people were restrained from bringing, for the material they had was sufficient to do all the work, and more. (Exodus 36:2-7)

For it is God who works in you, both to will and to work for his good pleasure. (Philippians 2:13)

For we are his workmanship, created in Christ Jesus for good works, which God prepared beforehand, that we should walk in them. (Ephesians 2:10)

Prosperity Gospel

Contrary to popular belief, righteous men die. Sometimes very early, sometimes in unjust or painful ways. And it's not always dramatic martyrdom. Freak accidents, cancer, heart attacks.
Even God's children die.

We, as believers in the salvation that was accomplished for us in Christ on the cross, have heard time and time again a narrative that says "you are loved" "Christ died for you" "you are fearfully and wonderfully made" and while these things are precious and absolutely true, we fail to recognize the significance it holds because we genuinely believe our salvation is just about us.

We have read of Abraham, of Moses, of David, and Paul. And we identify ourselves with them. We are loved, and thus God must use us right? He must either let me live a long prosperous life of doing His kingdom work, or allow me to do something mighty for His name before dying a martyr. This is a story about me doing something for God. This is the story of how God loved me. Wrong.

Brother, sister, you must understand that all things are for His glory. Were the Israelites any more righteous or worthy of God's protection than other groups of people? Were you any less sinful or worthy of God's love than your non-believing neighbor? No, you and I have done nothing to merit His love. It is only by His grace, for His ultimate glory, that we have the love of God. And in this truth, the fact that He loves us personally, that He provides us with everything we individually need, that we have an intimate relationship with God the Creator of the Universe is absolutely astounding.

Let's look to Uriah.
In the spring, when kings are to go out to battle, David sat in sinful idleness in Jerusalem. Long story short, he falls in love with a naked lady and sleeps with her, only to later find out that she's now pregnant, but still married to a Hittite named Uriah who is off at war (oops). So he tries to fix the problem by calling Uriah back from war, throwing parties to get him drunk, hoping that he'll go home and lay with his wife so that David won't be found out. But the loyal servant refuses to go home. "Uriah said to David, 'The ark and Israel and Judah dwell in booths, and my lord Joab and the servants of my lord are camping in the open field. Shall I then go to my house, to eat and drink and to lie with my life? As you live, and as your soul lives, I will not do this thing.'" (2 Samuel 11:11)
So David sends Uriah to the forefront of the war, and instructs Joab to draw back from the fighting and let Uriah die. And he dies.

I recently found out that a family friend's father may have a rare form of cancer. Their children are still in elementary school. He's a faithful servant at church and has been raising his children in a manner that exudes God's love and disciplines them with the Word. What has this man done to be a Uriah, a sort of pawn in God's bigger plan, whereas others get to be the King Davids? Well, nothing. What did David do to get to be King David? Nothing.

What's tragic about the prosperity gospel is that it cheapens what the Lord has accomplished in our sanctification by expecting and demanding but such a small portion of the riches God has in store for us. We want our narrative to play out the way we want it to. We want a nice house, a loving marriage, obedient children, and comfortable retirement. And in this, we fail miserably to see that this is not a story about us. It would be pitiful if it was! This is a story and a reality of a magnificent God who is above all time, a God who has crafted this genius plan of salvation, a God who has an unconditional and inexplicable and illogical love for his rebellious creation. And when you recognize that it is truly the greatest blessing to be Uriah or David, you no longer live this life as a story about you. Live each day knowing that you have no claim to the next, in a posture of humble thankfulness and trust in His glory and goodness. May He give and take away, for His name is blessed in any case.