Why I Waste My Time on Instagram

 The shortlist:

1. I don't love what is good
2. I enjoy what is not good
3. I don't look in the mirror closely, and when I do I turn away forgetting what I've seen
4. I forget what my mission and duty is
5. I am untrained

Why am I sharing this post?: 

• Because maybe you are also wasting your time (on IG or any other relatively fruitless activity), and maybe this will prompt you to consider why and how it may be combated. 
• Because I am prone to forgetting, and writing and posting helps me to bring truth to mind. 

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"Turn my eyes from looking at worthless things;

and give me life in your ways."

Psalm 119:37

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I don't love what is good

I am prone to rest in fruitless things, because I don't love what is better. The Psalmist loves God's Word and meditates on it all the day (Ps 119:97). God's Word is sweeter than honey (119:103). It brings joy to the heart (119:111). It is better than the dopamine hit of a pretty travel scene on an IG Reel. 

I enjoy what is not good

Blessed is the man who walks not in the counsel of the wicked (Ps 1:1a), nor binges on the influencer content of sinners, nor is absorbed by the TikTok dance videos of scoffers, but his delight [should be] in the law of the Lord. The litmus test should not necessarily be if my conscience is guilt-stricken by the first view of the content. All things are lawful for me, but not all things are helpful. I should not be dominated by (addicted to) anything (1 Cor 6:12). If the content is not beneficial to my soul, and if I repeatedly spend more time than intended, then I should no longer consume it. 

I don't look in the mirror closely, and when I do I turn away forgetting what I've seen

I walk around with the cowlick of lacking self-control, and the snotty nose of justifying sin by comparing my behavior with that of other sinners, but fail to recognize my unkempt appearance if I do not readily hear, meditate, apply, and do God's Word (James 1:22-25). And if I manage to glimpse myself in the mirror of His Word, I often forget what must be addressed and go on my way without change. I must continuously hear and do God's Word to be cleaned up and made more into the image of Christ by His grace. 

I forget what my mission and duty is

My mission is to preach the good news and teach all that the Lord has commanded to eternal souls (Matt 28:19-20). My duty is to rise early, look well to the ways of my house (Prov 31:15, 27), love my husband and son, and have self-control (Titus 2:4-5). My brethren in Christ rely on me to pray for them (Eph 6:18), speak truth to them (5:19), bear their burdens (Gal 6:2), do good for them as I have opportunity (6:10). If the mission and duty is harmed and not helped by my screen time, I must change my way for the sake of those I desire to serve. 

I am untrained 

Reading the Word is not easy, the flesh does not desire it. It requires actual mental effort and diligence. I must train toward godliness (1 Tim 4:7-8), immerse myself in practice (4:15) and persist (4:16). 

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" But I say, walk by the Spirit, and you will not gratify the desires of the flesh. For the desires of the flesh are against the Spirit, and the desires of the Spirit are against the flesh, for these are opposed to each other, to keep you from doing the things you want to do.."

Galatians 5:16-17

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Disclaimer: My temptations are not your temptations. Exhortations for me, may be temptations for you (if you are prone to a self-critical nature, or works-righteousness, or serving others to the detriment of yourself). Let the Holy Spirit pierce your heart through the Word of God and convict you of what you must repent of, and delight you in what you must fix your eyes on in this season. I am not pursuing asceticism, advocating for NO time on IG or some other leisure activity. I am exhorting myself because I have spent too much time, to the extent of wasting time. The exact amount, and type of time spent, which denotes idolatry, is different for you than it is for me. Again, let the Word of God speak truth to your particular situation and ask the Spirit to give you right convictions. 

To the girl I met at Disneyland

Who we shared a table with, before I found out she was going into her 2nd year at UCSD. 

Did I tell you I met the Lord in La Jolla? 

I’m listening to some sweet worship music after a quick workout, and the combination of sweat, cold air, and worship music in my earbuds took me back to riding home on my bike from RIMAC. The cold downhill wind will forever be associated with meditating on and rejoicing in what to me was new truth, ancient truths. 

One day, Lord-willing, you will have days full of work hours, little ones requiring your constant attention, love, and correction. They will be sweet days of sanctification, but they will not be full of vast stretches of time to dwell on the Lord. 

You are living a precious and limited commodity. 

Wake up early and go to the cafe. Sit down and open God’s Word and see and taste that the Lord is good. Even when your flesh doesn’t want to, ask your Heavenly Father to open up wondrous truths in his law. 

Write down your reflections and worship. Ponder the perfection of God’s sovereignty. Weep over your undeservedness of his grace. Marvel in his beauty. 

Binge-watch the sermons! Study whole books of the Bible in days and weeks. Talk about what you’re discovering with the eternal souls around you. Feel the exultation of testifying of Christ’s goodness. 

Flee sin. Cry out to the Lord for Grace to obey and be changed. Rejoice in his provision when you conquer temptation. 

Read Revelation. Understand the myriad aspects of soteriology. Ask the questions, and search the Scriptures for the answers. Humble yourself to declare what you find as truth, to be good. 

Future days will bring trials and blessings that will make you love the Lord and cling to him even more. But you will do so better with a foundation under your feet of the never changing and never failing Word of God. Rejoice and enjoy the God of your youth.