Sure enough, both scenarios have come up in the past 6 weeks.
But I never expected to find myself here - intellectually challenged to my last wits. I'm currently going through John Cassian's "On the Protection of God" which throws out every text I've ever come across and wrestled with in God's Word about His Sovereignty (and then like 50 more). And as I'm reading my soul cries out "NO! Wrong! This is untrue!"--I am literally writing these things in the margins--except I can't academically back it up. And I'm struggling because the man makes a such a hodge podge of Scripture, with all the right ingredients, that my mind is disheveled just enough. And when he shines his light on the mess and says "sometimes God saves man against his natural will, but then sometimes man has a spark of good in him that God fans into flame, and always God continues to work in us" I go, oh okay... WAIT NO there is nothing good in me! But then again I've never considered that verse before, perhaps it does require some level of.. Ugh, what are you doing Cassian, you just said these things are inscrutable, why you scrutin'??
Besides the fact that the man makes a strong philosophical argument where you really can't call him out for being that wrong, I think I'm realizing that everything I've studied in the past has had no real life repercussions for me. Sure, some sociology classes opened my eyes to "sociological perspective" but the workings of my Lord and Savior are the foundations of my world. Of THE world. We can't afford to get this wrong, lest we steal the glory from God Almighty or disfigure Him in our minds into someone He is not.
And thus I am not sure how to move forward, because this isn't just a 10 page paper for a class and a letter grade where I can just pick an argument, defend it, and move on without a care. My hands are molding the material of God's Holy Word and I dare not misshape it or force a piece to fit where it does not.
Oh Lord, give me wisdom and discernment to glorify You even in this. Let the Spirit grant understanding and above all else may you bring my soul to worship You in this effort, and for all the days of my life.
